The results to last Friday’s poll on who should replace Rob Ford (the infamous, lying, crack-smoking and friend to Etobicoke drug dealers, mayor of Toronto) are in!
Poor old Captain Canuck and Drake/Aubrey Graham/Jimmy Brooks of Degrassi got no votes whatsover. Snidely Whiplash, Wolverine, and Nelvana of the Northern Lights all tied at 6.25% of the vote. Robin Charles Scherbatsky Jr., Benton Fraser of the RCMP, and Ramona Flowers (“Gideon always says Toronto is one of the great cities, so…” we assume she got her citizenship eventually) tied at 12.5%. Coming in second is Jules Callaghan (aka the Pink Ranger of Flashpoint), and in first place, who is the fictional character you want to see mayor-ing it up in Hogtown, the Big Smoke, Muddy York, the Tee-Dot-Oh-Dot–y’know, Toronto the Good?
Why, it’s none other than Anne Shirley from L.M. Montgomery’s Canadian classic Anne of Green Gables! The loquacious and imaginative farm girl orphan from PEI might be more qualified than you’d expect. She likes trees, flowers, and poetry, earned a B.A. back when that was not a popular thing to do for women, and she’s an effective communicator and public speaker. You’ll love her renditions of The Highwayman and The Lady of Shallot! And the closest she’s ever got to being inebriated in public was that one time she accidentally got her pal Diana Barry drunk, but she swears she thought it was raspberry cordial, and takes full responsibility.
So whaddya think? Let’s see how her campaign might run: